For about two years now, Young Turkish women who come to Germany to get married have had to show a minimum of German language knowledge before they are allowed entry. However the courses that were being offered by the Goethe Institute received criticism right away.

(Satire from Davide S. for German PI, translation by Anders Denken)

“Too foreign” is the judgment from the experts. The curriculum deals with a man named Jürgen who goes to work in the morning. And his wife also has a career. This totally misses the living environment of the female migrants, or so Mrs. Schmalz-Bohde from the Ministry of Integration (CDU – German Christian Democratic Union Party) reckons. The course instruction should not be oriented to the desires and ideas of the teachers, rather it must fit into the needs of the young women. She’s right! Therefore, PI has a few suggestions for a new primer geared to this special target group. All befitting their needs in simple language.

Here are the first lessons:

Lesson 1

Hürrem lives in Germany.
She likes it.
She says, “A beautiful country!”
We get everything here.
(Hint for the teacher: You can intertwine hints here about financial sponsorships and discuss such things as housing allowance, clothing allowance, heating subsidy and social aid.)

Lesson 2

The Germans used to be bad.
Today they are good
The Germans made a world war.
60 million people died.
(Hint for the teacher: Make it clear to your pupils that the inherited guilt of the Germans is being addressed here, and that it really doesn’t affect the immigrants.) That was bad.
The Germans also killed six million Jews.
We love the Germans.

Lesson 3

We are building a mosque.
It costs 40 million Euros.
We have one million.
The Germans will give us the rest.
The mosque is called “Fatih Mosque.”
Fatih, like the conqueror of Istanbul.
(Hint for the teacher: At this point you can insert hints of such complex German words (phrases) as, for example, “mosque builders association,” “development provisions” or “national insurance.”) The mosque is spectacular.
The men pray here on Fridays.

Lesson 4

Gülkan is having her period.
Right now she is unclean.
She is not allowed to pray.
She is not allowed to fast.
She can’t enter the mosque.
She can’t hold the holy Quran.
She will have to make up her prayers later.
Gülkan says, “When? I have to cook, wash and keep the house!”
So she ends up not catching up on her prayers.
For that, she will go to Hell.

Lesson 5

Özlem is a good wife.
She always wears her head covering.
Özlem and her husband Ercüment have five children.
So the Germans give them money for the kids.
Lots of money.
So much money that they don’t have to work.
That is called “Hartz IV.”
Özlem says, “It’s nice in Germany!”

Lesson 6

Büsra is not a good wife.
She left the way of Islam.
Her husband’s honor has been defiled.
He stabs her in the belly with his knife.
Now she is dead.
The burial will be in Turkey.
The Germans will pay for that, too.
(Hint for the teacher: Concepts with a negative connotation, such as honor killing, are to be avoided here at all costs!)

For about two years now, Young Turkish women who come to Germany to get married have had to show a minimum of German language knowledge before they are allowed entry. However the courses that were being offered by the Goethe Institute received criticism right away. (Satire from Davide S. for German PI, translation by Anders Denken) "Too foreign" is the judgment from the experts. The curriculum deals with a man named Jürgen who goes to work in the morning. And his wife also has a career. This totally misses the living environment of the female migrants, or so Mrs. Schmalz-Bohde from the Ministry of Integration (CDU - German Christian Democratic Union Party) reckons. The course instruction should not be oriented to the desires and ideas of the teachers, rather it must fit into the needs of the young women. She's right! Therefore, PI has a few suggestions for a new primer geared to this special target group. All befitting their needs in simple language. Here are the first lessons: Lesson 1 Hürre

Guest, 04. Mar 2010 |  Print This Post |  Email This Post | post a comment    
Kategorie: Germany, Islamisation of Europe, Satire;

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